Grief as geography was beyond anticipation. Paper mountains, landslides, shifting sands and quagmires are significant features in the landscape of spousal bereavement.
The climate in the legal world is chillingly dreich. A smog of jargon obscures a clear view of the future, a deluge of forms blocks pathways through healing.
Proof of death, it seems, requires more than the discarded shell of a loved one, more than the ashes, more than the evidence of legal and medical witnesses, more than the paid up bill to the funeral directors.
More, so very much more than the bottomless well of tears, it seems.
How many copies of death certificates does it take to prove your entitlement to grieve? Cancellation of plastic accounts is a new sport, apparently - a vindictive trick on an adulterous partner. Proof of legitimacy required, please.
How much profit do Tesco need to make before they lay aside repeated demands for a £2. 43 late payment surcharge addressed to the card holder's spouse? How much does legal obligation have to cost in time and money before there is trust in honest intention? How loudly do clerks and administrators have to shout for details of "the deceased" from behind glass screens in public offices? Seems to me there is a training deficit in banks, post offices and DSS - or is courtesy dead as well..
Is my cynicism just oversensitivity from the rawness of loss ?
So many potholes and dark caves, so much mud and razor-blade scree.
Too, too many unkind diversions into the wilderness.
About Me
- Mags
- Originally, Mags made this place in the ether for family and friends to support Macfarlane's journey through cancer. Now that it is over, she uses the legacy of his spirit to chart new waters. Not knowing her mast from her mizzen, it is good to know there are folk out there who can throw a lifebelt. Your comments are welcome reminders that the flood waters will abate and "the singing bird will come " Guide to leaving a comment 1. Click on the "Comments" link at the bottom of the latest post. 2. Choose an identity - best to use "Other" then you can put your name at the top of your comment. 3. Enter "Name" in the blue outlined box which appears when you click "Other" 4. Copy the word verification letters into the box below in the correct order. This prevents computerised spamming of the site.Thanks a million.
2 comments:
The 'system' is ridiculous and more often than not 'courtesy' is rare these days, as for Tesco's, a letter to the Chief Exec would not go amiss to save others from suffering a similiar event.
On a different tack, as you were instrument in introducing us to 'Google' Images, I accessed scree and wilderness & have emailed 2 I found just to say that in some nook or crannie there is still somethings worth beholding. Are you able to publish these on your blog?
Lots of Love
M & M
So sorry you are having to suffer all this added and unnecessary grief. You would think society would have learned by now how to deal with times like this in an 'appropriate' manner.
Am posting off to-day a book written by patients and carers at our Hospice down here which may give you a little comfort and a few ideas.
Love
Frank & Betty
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